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joeyrichtersbottom:

aimmyarrowshigh:

I wish we said “fancy” in America. As in, “I fancy you.” It’s such a more agreeable term than “I have a crush on you.”  What’s a crush? Like, I AM A BOA CONSTRICTOR AND I AM GOING TO IMMOBILIZE YOU WITH MY MISPLACED AND OBSESSIVE AFFECTION.  “I fancy you” is like, you’re so shiny and glittery and I just want to put you on a shelf and look at you for a while ‘cause you’re fancy.

in australia we just exchange boomerangs 

finefools:

‘am i right ladies’ is the best way to end any text post am i right ladies 

Empath Perk #74

see-with-the-heart:

The depth of our heats capacity.

catholmes:

demet3r:

the-trench-coat-fandom:

captainsbooty:

captainsbooty:

captainsbooty:

what if we’re all characters in a book

WHAT IF WHEN YOU FORGET WHAT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY IT’S THE AUTHOR BACKSPACING

guys why isn’t everyone reblogging this it’s a scientific breakthrough

and when you’ve had a sense that you’ve been through a certain day or moment before, it’s cuz the author is re-writing the same part of the story, just with better context

image

Dude, my author fucking sucks. 

the-vashta-nerada:

it’s cute that they sell family sized oreo boxes thinking that people are gonna share them with their family

katkinkat:

i wish i could say “?????????” in real life it would be very useful

neatvibes:

most common thought: damn haha im going to have to deal with that sooner or later

shavingryansprivates:

its been 12 years since shrek came out and im still having trouble coping with the fact that donkey fucked a dragon